On February 27th, 2020

The Transformative Power of Unconditional Love

February, despite its chilly weather, is the season in which we take some time as a culture to celebrate love…but what about the love of self? Much of the time it feels like the hardest person to love is the one we live with every second of every day of our lives…ourselves.

Below, two leading teachers of personal transformation share their thoughts on the importance of unconditional love for the self, which of course ultimately leads to the ability to extend unconditional love to others and out to the world!

Unconditional Love for Yourself

(Excerpted from The Mastery of Self by Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.)

In the Dream of the Planet there are two powerful forces that shape all our agreements, attachments, and domestication. In the Toltec tradition, we call these forces the two types of love: unconditional love and conditional love.

When unconditional love flows from our hearts, we move through life and engage other living beings with compassion. Unconditional love is recognizing the divinity in every human being we meet, regardless of his or her role in life or agreement with our particular way of thinking. A Master of Self sees all beings through the eyes of unconditional love, without any projected image or distortion.

Conditional love, on the other hand, is the linchpin of domestication and attachment. It only allows you to see what you want to see, and to domesticate anyone who doesn’t fit your projected image. It’s the primary tool used to subjugate those around us and ourselves. Every form of domestication can be boiled down to “If you do this, then I will give you my love” and “If you do not do this, then I will withhold my love.” Every form of attachment starts with “If this happens, then I will be happy and feel love” and “If this does not happen, then I will suffer.” The key word in all of these statements is if, which, as you will see, has no place in unconditional love.we construct the Dream of the Planet, we have a choice to love each other unconditionally or conditionally. When we love each other unconditionally, our mirror is clean; we see others and ourselves as we really are: beautiful expressions of the Divine. But when the fog of attachment and domestication clouds our perception and we put conditions on our love, we are no longer able to see the divinity in others and ourselves. We are now competing for a commodity that we have mistaken as love.

At its core, domestication is a system of control, and conditional love is its primary tool. Consequently, the moment you start trying to control others is the same moment you place conditions on your love and acceptance of them. Because you can only give what you have, the conditions you try to impose on others are the same conditions that you impose upon yourself.

When you self-domesticate, you are attempting to control your own actions based on shame, guilt, or perceived reward rather than unconditional self-love…

Unconditional love is the antidote to domestication and attachment, and tapping into its power is a key step in becoming a Master of Self.

Purifying Your Heart

(Excerpted from Warrior Goddess Training by HeatherAsh Amara)

Your heart is the strongest muscle in your body, and it will beat 2.5 billion times over your lifetime. Energetically, the heart’s ability for giving and receiving is endless. However, for many of us the heart is usually one of our most guarded areas...

We protect our heart in numerous ways: physically by rounding our shoulders and sinking the chest in; emotionally by closing down our access to feelings for fear of pain; mentally by believing we can be broken or destroyed unless we stay isolated. This type of protection gives us the illusion that we are in control and safe.

The glass barriers we put around our heart cause us to fear being shattered. But the heart is wise and strong beyond measure when we give it space to unfurl…

So how do you access your heart’s wisdom? At its core, your heart is a great teacher and friend. But around this core of truth is a gnarled web of mental lies and fears. When you bring your awareness into the light of your true heart, you can illuminate and release the mental stories that close your heart…

This journey of opening the heart wider than our fears takes time and perseverance, as you have spent years training it to do the opposite. The next time you notice your heart starting to close off or become scared, the medicine to feed yourself is compassion and self love. Following is an example of what I mean by this.

A friend was driving me to a workshop, and I was having a rough day. When she asked me what was wrong I started crying and shared all the ways that I was overwhelmed and scared about some changes coming up in my life. Her response was, “OK, Warrior Goddess, you know you always land on your feet. It’s time to step up and walk the talk.”

In the past my judge would have used my friend’s words to say, “Get over your whining and get a grip! What is wrong with you?” Result: closed heart to self, a pushing down of emotions, and attempting to bully myself into making the change.

Or I might have taken her words and said, “No one understands what I am going through. It is all too much and I can’t do this!” Result: closed heart to self, and feeling more victimized and overwhelmed.

I chose to take the Warrior Goddess path. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and opened my heart to me. From this openhearted place I let myself feel my emotions completely and witnessed what was arising. I felt the overwhelm. I felt my judge’s frustration and sense of being out of control. I felt my victim’s terror of not doing it right. Then I went inside and soothed the part of me that was scared. “Hi, scared part! There is a lot going on right now, but it is going to be OK. I’m here with you. It’s going to be OK.” I stopped judging myself and chose to just be present in this moment. This self-compassion created a release in my being, and I could then look for what was working and what were my next steps, all from a loving place. When I opened my eyes again, I told my friend, “OK, I’m ready to go!”

Being a Warrior Goddess does not mean you never have emotional meltdowns, or that you never have a difficult day, or that you avoid heartbreak. Being a Warrior Goddess is about falling in love with all of you: with your judge self, your victim self, and your wise Warrior Goddess self. You are worthy of love, and the heart healing comes when you stop looking outside for love and open to the immense love your heart has for you.



Eager to explore more about The Mastery of Self? This bestselling title is available from all major retailers, AND registration is open NOW for Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.’s three-day intensive retreat on the Mastery of Self in Sedona, AZ!

Intrigued by the invitation to become a Warrior Goddess yourself? Warrior Goddess Training is the first book in the series that has sparked a worldwide movement! AND registration is open NOW for HeatherAsh Amara’s three-day intensive retreat, Shamanism & The Divine Feminine in Sedona, AZ!


Don’t miss this incredible opportunity
to dive deep into wisdom and personal power
with one of these two amazing teachers this upcoming May, 2020!



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